An inspirational talk

I have started working part time for "Reading Plus", marketing reading programs. So, today I attended a seminar for teachers of varied schools in singapore. The speaker was Dilip mukerjea. A very inspirational public speaker. He is the MD for "Braindancing International", he was talking about how to make your brain works to the maximum and without border. He said learning is for life and it will only stop when you are reduced to ashes, which i am very much agreed with. We will never stop learning if we are willing to learn. And he also mentioned that "There is no learning difficulties, only teaching difficulties". At first, I was puzzled by what he meant, but he explained again, about his experiences working with people with brain damages, He said they have brain damages, but when you are teaching them, they are very eager to learn, but they have their limit and difficulties, so what the teachers need to do is just to work within their limit and "Stimulating" their brain, so it will be better, because brain cells will die, if there is no stimulus goes to it. And the neurons will refuse to connect & create electricity.

So, I am thinking, maybe in Darren case, he will need a lot of stuffs to stimulate his brain. I started playing games with him when i reached home: imitating his actions, imitating his blabbers, even run or crawl with him on the floor, which I know Sanjay always ask me to do, he called it Floortime activities. This works out well! He was laughing happily, making eye contact, and actually came to me and ask for more plays :-), eventough no speech yet, but communication is there. We will still work on this every single day.

The new Darren

It has been a while since I last penned down my thoughts in here. Darren contracted HFMD a while ago, and he recovered within a week. We were afraid Derrick will also got it, but fortunately he was okay. Maybe his immune system is better than Darren.

The following entry might sound silly. But I believe in tarots reading, so I always ask for advice from the lady. She told me, Darren will be able to communicate verbally by end of December with "formal setting" kind of therapy where the father has to be involved, because he feels stress from the therapist, and he trusts his father more than anyone else. So, I told my hubby, we have to try this eventough this may sound silly. So, every morning, he will play with Darren before he goes off to work, talks to him, pats his back, and laughs with him. To our disbelieve, he doesn't babble in his hoarse voice like what he used to do, anymore. Now he is babbling clearly. ma ma, pa pa, la la la, and some other new babbler that we never heard before. Down inside, we hope that he will be able to communicate like any other children, so that he will be able to tell us his needs and wants, not by temper tantrum.

I have stopped the GFCF diet on him, as I feel that he is so pitiful, can't eat all the things that small kids supposed to enjoy. I want him to try all the snacks, sweets, chocolates, etc. We are giving him everything now, except not too much candies and chocolates, as we understand that even normal kids can't take too much of that, will caused hyperactivity.

He seems to be able to take it now, as I don't see any behavioral changes in him. He still sleeps at 9 PM and wakes up at 6.30 AM. He doesn't cry for no reasons also. We are happy to see this happening. At least now he can eat what other kids eat. And he puts on some more weight again. We called him "little piggy" or "Ah fat" now, hahaha.

Hearing test

We went to NUH-child development unit for Darren's follow up on 1st july 2008. Like usual, she will ask me what kind of program that Darren is on now. Of course i never tell her about the biomedical treatment, as normal physician will cringe at the mention of it. Actually 3 mths ago she suggested that we bring Darren for hearing test at NUH, which will cost us from 40 to 400 bucks, depends on Darren cooperation. If need to, they will have to sedate him to make him cooperate. He is on music therapy so, i was puzzled why they need him to go for hearing test. She told me that some autistic children are deaf in many ways, as music and speech is different. She said some autistic kids can talk after fittin on the hearing aid..... For this one, i am not so sure, i will have to find more resources to see if it's true or not. I will not put my son to the suffering of sedation just for hearing test. He is only a cute 4 year old....

I have stopped the Kitaro CD, as it made him very active. Now we are back to Samonas "3 guitars" CD, and he seems to toned down abit, not so super high in energy and more calm.

And I am posting this interesting poster about autism, i found in Second Life@TM.

Darren, Darren, Darren

Today we were at Sanjay. He noticed higher awareness & joint attention on Darren. He was playing with the equipment happily. And he seemed to enjoy climbing up the ladder, eventough he feel afraid. But he was willing to try, he even pull my hands, to indicate to me, that he want to go up again after he managed to climb down. We did that quite a lot of time, maybe 8 times. He is more adventorous now, as he is willing to try every set up that Sanjay do for him. All the obstacles and builds, he will try to go through, with 20% prompting.

Sanjay is concern about his late speech. So, we will think of a way to do neurofeedback on him, and get the expert in USA to look into it. It will be a bit of a challenge, as it will require to put the sensor on his head, and we will have to do t once with eyes open, and once with eyes close.

I noticed, he is a bit active this week, making more sound and rounds. But I believe that is because of his higher awareness & joint attention. Sanjay also said so.

Another day has passed

During the June school holiday, Fei Yue told me that government is doing another mean test, to reaccess our income and adjust Darren's fee.I was shocked when they told me that we have to pay 600+ now because no subsidy for us since papa's salary is high (but we have to pay many other things...). And we were fortunate because they helped us to get a grant, so the fee is adjusted to 380SGD from 350SGD. Thank God! If not, we have to really stop him from going to PCS JW, as we can't afford to pay more. Parents with kids with disability, sometimes really have to pay high prices for a lot of things that are supposed to help the kids.

We are thinking of putting him to speech therapist, since he didn't lke the one at SPD. Until now we can't really find a suitable one. Those at town area are charging exorbitant money, 100+ per hr..... I am not sure if we can really afford. We are up to our neck now, as papa's salary is being process too slow every mth. Pls pls MOE & the school clerks. Work harder, as not only your families need the money, but our kids also need it, to buy their necessities. They have been pushing the blames everywhere for the late processing of salary every mth. I am not sure who to turn to for help...........I am angry sometimes, but can i call and scold them? I can't for my safety......and papa's career.

I am at my wits end.....

I want to play what I want!

Today Darren is going to PCS Jurong West. The teacher told us that he wanted to choose his own toys, instead of being told what to play. He will shriek and cry when not allowed to play the toys that he want. I am not sure if this is a good improvement..... But at least now he know how to protest, meaning awareness level is improving.

Weather is bad as usual. Let's hope noone fall sick this time. I managed to swim 7 laps today. Fatigue and body pain always come to me nowadays. I guess i have to start eating my spirulina supplements again.

Rain rain go away, come again some other day....

Rainy days

It has been very wet these few days. I am surprised it's always raining at this time of the year. I was told by my hubby that the thypoon is making it's way to singapore, but it will not cost much damages, will only be raining day in and day out. I have been sick for 3 weeks, cold and cough. I am glad the kids are okay at this kind of crazy weather. At least Darren is not as sickly as the last time before he took those supplements. I am glad i found the miracle of biomedical treatment. I might be stepping into the unknown, but the facts are in front of me. So, I will not say anything, but feel fortunate.
Darren is on his way to school now with the helper. The rain is pouring and he has to take the bus, so i suggested to let him wear the raincoat we have long had but never been used before, because he will cry everytime we put it on him. To my surprise, he didn't protest. He was just touching the material and then stroll away happily to the bus stop. Another small improvement. :-) yeah!
The teacher at Fei Yue wrote in his communication book, that he has been shrieking a lot when denied anything that he desire. And he will not share toys with his peers. I wrote back today,telling them that Kitaro and a alot of TLC has put more awareness, join attention & good eye contact into Darren, thus resulting in more protests & shrieking. I hope this will be for the better of Darren.
We are still waiting for his communication to verbalised, it will be a long and patience wait. But once the rain is gone, and the sun is out. I will bring him to the swimming pool again. Because according to Sanjay, the water at chest level will help his diaphgram to work extra hard and hopefully will make him speak.
By the way, I hate the rain.........where is my sun!?

"Kitaro" & lots of floor time

It has been a while since I updated this blog. Darren has been very well. Put on a lot of weights and he has a pouch on his tummy now :-). I am happy to see this progress as he used to be very skinny, eventough he eats a lot. Nowadays, he is still eating the same food, but he has put on weight, meaning the good nutrients has been absorbed inside his body with the help of digestive enzymes supplements & lots of TLC from all of us, especially Sutiarsih (our helper). I always think that God is fair as he always gives us a good helper to take care of Darren. Sutiarsih takes Darren to the park and playground 3 to 4 times a day, and that has help with his Occupational therapy sessions, as Sanjay told me that all the climbing, jumping, etc has somehow help. We were supposed to have 3 times of OT at Sanjay looking at Darren problems. But of course it's all boiled down to money. We can't afford it, as much as we want to.

We have stopped going to Kyoko for cranio sessions also, as it's not cheap. His head still soft till today, except when he is very upset and angry then his head will be very hard again. I am trying to do cranio on him myself when he is sleeping. I was learning from the book Sanjay was lending me. But, to be honest, I am not sure what i am doing. I will just put my palms on those points that Darren needs, and I will just keep telling myself that i want to suck out all his bad energy and release it from my shoulders. I am not sure if this will work, but it better be. haha. It's a good training for me also, as i hate meditations.

We have decided to try to stop his supplements. Except for vit C & DMG. We will see how it goes. If he shows sign on deterioration, then we will start all the supplements again. I was at shoulders forum a while ago. I was dismay when I read a post by a parents, saying something like, those supplements will cause a lot of problems for the kids, and she/he cited kidney problem as one of them. I am not saying that I am smart, but I have done a lot of reading and research, and every supplements that are given to Darren. I know why he must take those. I suggest, don't take just any supplemets blindly, but you must know how those supplements can help your kids. Doctors in Singapore, sorry to say, ARE ALL CRAPS. They know nothing about biomedical treatment at all, especially those in public hospitals. The doctors at KKH and NUH was telling me, not to put too much hope on recovery for my son. I was telling myself, they are bullshitting. I am not gonna give up on him and what they say will not affect my opinion on biomedical treatment, as a lot of kids overseas have benefited from it. As autism is still a mystery, we have to try everything in this world, as long it doesn't hurt our kids. in order to find the answer. Only us, parents, can help our own kids. Noone else will....

I was playfully, get a lady from U.S.A to do a tarot card reading for me. I told her nothing, but this question; what will become of my autistic son, if he is able to go into the society?. She told me, she saw the journey, as being bumpy and things get a lil bit difficult when he is about to go into the society. But he will make it, with my help. Ppl who don't know, will think that i am weak and saddened by my son condition. But inside, i am ready, I am just waiting for him to grow up and help him blend into the world. I am smart, strong and knowledgeable (I guess from all those reading, haha), that's why i can influence the negatives points in my son's life. And she said she saw me going out of the way to help my son (alternative healings), ppl will think that i am stepping into the unknown. But I know where i stand. Well, all these are common knowledge I guess LOL, but it put smile on my face. It's a kind of encouragement for myself.

We are doing a lot of Floortime for Darren. Plays with him a lot of times per day. We can work well with him when we are singing, so I know our weapon is MUSIC. Music is the magnet for Darren, well his dad is a musician *smile*. We got him a 2nd hand piano, but for now, I don't think he is able to learn it with the help of a teaher yet, as his ability to follow instruction is not that good yet. We will see how it goes, and we will contact Mona when the time is right. We will just let him observe and play with the piano for now. To get him familiarise with it, so that he has no shock when he is ready to learn how to play it. We got the birds singing CD from Sanjay 3 weeks ago, and we have put him on that once a day for 10 mins. And his papa was telling me, maybe we try Kitaro musics, as he has a lot of drums element in his music, maybe it will help Darren. So, we put him on Kitaro everyday, mid day & before he goes to bed. He somehow, show more joint attention & good eye contact now. He can play well with adults and he seems to be more cheerful & always laughing when we are doing fun stuffs.

Supplements helps

All the supplements i am giving Darren is starting to take effect now. He puts on 2 kgs in a month, his tummy is round and his cheek are also round, haha. He can't wear some of his pants already, too tight. I am really happy finally his body is able to absorb all the nutrients from his food. So digestive enzymes is very important.

He is able to understand simple instructions now. And he just learnt to drink from a small plastic cup this week. Eventough he can't hold it properly yet, but he is able to get the concept. And he doesn't choke on the water from the cup like last time. He can squuze on thosw squacky toys also now, last time his grip is not that good.

He is able to understand some concept about things now, for example, that the floor outside is dirty, he stops feeling the floor at the playground nowadays. And he seldom bang on doors, cupboards or glass panels now. He still sucks on his shirt.......still some sensory issue not sorted out yet i believe.

I am confident, that he will get better everyday. I am happy with his progress so far. Gambate Darren! We love you.

more awareness & different reaction

Darren's teachers at Fei Yue reported to me that he has different reactions nowadays. He will be very angry and scream to show his unhappiness, when he is forbidden to do something or when someone bump into him. This is in a way good improvement :-)

I hardly hear him cry nowadays, as the maid is just like a good mother to him. Bringing him go to the playground as often as he likes, sometimes 3 to 4 times per day. haha. She reported to me that now he can go up the steps and slide down on the slide on his own, without any assistance. That's very good, but she said, he will be very angry if there are other kids in the playground using it at the same time as him. He will cry and scream. Meaning his social skill is still not improving........

We went to Suan lin's place today for his speech therapy. SO far so good, he was able to say ler ler ler when suan lin said "colour". She is quite happy with his improvement nowadays.

I talked to an sl musician from germany. He was thinking of writing a song and he wants me to write the lyrics. I will use this opportunity to work on autism awareness :-) Hard work but it will be worth it.

Derrick turned 2 years old on 24 March 2008. Happy birthday Derrick! We love you.

"NO MORE"

It has been a week since I last pen down here. Last week Darren surprised me with another words coming out from his mouth. I was giving milk to him that afternoon, he gave it to me while it left with a bit of milk, so I gave it back to him to finish it. He actually gave it back to me & he said "NO MORE". I couldn't believe my ears, so I took it from his hand and gave it to him again, yet he gave it back to me and said "NO MORE". I was of course filled with pure joy. :-) My efforts don't go down the drain.And those people who thinks that autism is not reversible, I will proof them wrong in the end........

I am going to Bali again this coming June. I need a break from all this stress I put on myself in order to reverse this devil called "autism". But it will be all worth if in the end if Darren is able to blend into this cruel society.

He is babbling, more and more new words this week. And his eye contact & engagement with me and the maid has definitely improved. And I am happy for him. But we can't afford to go for his therapies this week as papa is having problem with his salary processing from the govt. Hey govt uncles & aunties, my boy needs those therapies, so please.....just process those money and give it to us........

Rainy season again

This month the rain seems to be pouring a lot. I hate this kind of weather, as bringing Darren to his school & therapies will be a big hassle. He likes to play with rain & I have difficulty keeping him under the umbrella. hehe

Today he went for his intervention at PCS JW like usualk, but the timing has been changed to 1.45 PM as the centre has something on in the morning so Mrs. Mohan was unable to teach Darren. When I arrived at the centre to pick him up, I was amazed to see him sitting on the chair, alone! Mr.s Mohan has gone to another room to get something, and he was actually sitting down there to wait! This is big improvement. I am really happy for him.

We got our new maid finally. A refined lady, who is very patient with the kids. I hope this one will be able to work for us for long as I like the way she handles the kids. And they adore her also. She is just like my mom, gentle & kind.

Darren doesn't cry for no reason now & he enjoys playing with Derrick in the evening when he is back from childcare. I am really really happy to see this kind of improvement in him. Eventough my granny just phoned me earlier, to tell me that she helped me to ask the "god" in my hometown about Darren's condition and the god actually said that he was born that way, means the chance of recovery is slim, but we never at the 1st place expected him to recover and function like a normal kid. Our wish for him is just that he is able to take care of himself when we are gone, as this society is cruel to the disables.

Another mother at Fei Yue told me yesterday about her experience at IKEA. They have those playroom for the kids which you can leave the kids there while you are shopping. SO, she left her autistic son there to play with his elder brother. But while they are shopping halfway, they heard their names being called through the paging system in the store. And she was wondering why. The satff actually ticked her off because she didn't inform the staff about her child condition, and he actually dig his pampers and smell his hand, and other parents took their kids away for the fear of catching any germs from this unhygienic boy....gosh! I hope autism awareness movement will be the next campaign the government wanna think of. If i were her, I will feel very sad and I will probably cry within... I don't know what to say, really.....

Okay, off we go to kyoko's place now :-) Another 30 mins of crying.......

New strategy for taking supplements

I was talking about Edelson centre on my last post, and I said that I will implement his method for nutritional therapy. And we started on 7/03/08, I changed some of his supplements and add lots of new one.

Here is the list of the supplements (all obtained from http://www.kirkmanlabs.com/, friendly staffs & fast delivery :-) & i am not working for them for writing this);

1. Amino support powder / 1/2 teaspoon

2. TMG with folinic acid & methyl B-12 capsule / 3 capsule per day in the morning

3. Enzyme complete DPP-IV / 2 capsules with every meal per day

4. Pro-Omega (Omega 3 & 6) soft gel capsule / 1 capsule per day

5. Grapefruit seed extract capsule / 2 capsule per day

6. Multiple mineral pro-support capsule / 1 capsule per day

7. Multiple vitamin pro-support capsule / 1 capsule per day

8. Hypoallergenic Pro-Bio Gold / 1 capsule per day

9. Acetyl-L-carnitine capsule / 1 capsule per day

10. Milk thistle capsule / 2 capsules per day

11. B-complex with coenzyme support powder / 1/2 teaspoon per day

12. Calcium powder / 1/2 teaspoon per day

13. B-6/Magnesium chewable wafer / 3 wafers per day

14. Folic acid tablets / 30 tablets per day (it's chewable & sweet :-))

15. Hypoallergenic vitamin C capsule 250 mg / 8 capsules per day (he needs this for his flu symptom, he is not having any slightest flu again)

16. Hypoallergenic vitamin E capsule / 1 capsule per day

This list is not for the faint hearted, but somehow it helps him a lot, he is calmer, babbling more new words, VERY good eye contact, happier, better social skill (can pull Derrick's hands to ask him to play with him), less self beating, less t-shirt chewing, less banging on furnitures & doors, less crying for no reason, & the most important part, he is imitating more now, he will coo after you if you make the sounds that he also know, he on/off the TV just like Derrick :-( hehe.

I am really hoping my effort will help him to be better each day. Then I can go out there and do whatever I wanna do, such as working, watching movie, shopping, etc. Now all those are only in my dream, haha. While i am still alive and kicking, i wanna do all the things i wanna do, as we never know what tomorrow will hold.......

Edelson centre closed

That's what i found out when I ran through Edelson centre at Google. To my dismay, they faced 3 law suits because of many things, check this out :http://www.quackwatch.org/11Ind/edelson.html

Internet is a powerful tool, you can find practically anything you want to know about. And I don't think Edelson's way in treating autistic children is totally wrong, he does has the basic, but just the way of administering the treatment is totally wrong. I will implement what he wrote in his book using my own mean & money. Sauna therapy for detoxification, nutritional therapy, chelation for removal of heavy metals, intervention programs, ST & OT.

Temper tantrum

Darren's temper tantrum is getting worst nowadays, he will show his unhappiness when we ask him to do something against his will. He knows how to protest now...which i don't know how to react to it, want to be happy or angry :-)

Today is my dad-in-law's birthday. So like usual, we have dinner as a family at the coffee shop opposite our house. This year I decided to bring Darren along, as I think that he needs more exposure to this kind of environment, and we can't keep him at home forever just because he is autistic & too troublesome. Like I expected, he didn't wanna sit on the high chair for baby, and he refused to sit on my lap also. He cried & screamed and hit his head with his fists. But what i didn't expect is the reaction of people at the coffee shop. They are very dismay & treat it as a free show :-). And my dad-in-law actually buried his face behind newspaper. hehe. I was angry at this reaction at 1st, but hey! I told myself, they are just not aware of what is autism. And that's why autism awareness movement is very important.

And I have decided whatever help is needed in the autism organisations (any organisation), I will try my very best to help & share my experience about Darren, to create more autism awareness. Papa was a bit uneasy about what happened at the coffee shop, so I told him, this is one of the many challenges we are going to face ahead of us as Darren is getting bigger & he has his own will also, and he is not robot which we can control along, so no matter what happen, no matter what others think about him, we have to thicken our face skin & just ignored it... I think my face is already very thick by now as I am always with him everyday, bringing him to public places. Papa is just not used to it, which I understand. But Papa, we have more to learn from this little lost brain. So, Gambate!

Like I said before in my previous post. Kyoko has already warned us that his behavioral problems will alleviate as we go along the treatments, so we can expect worst temper tantrum, eating & licking of non-food objects, hyperactivity, self injury, etc. But after the treatment is completed, I hope those will go down gradually.....

The wonder of vitamin C

He has been having cough & cold for more than a week, and I am devastated as the medicines from GP don't seem to cure his ailment. So, I decided to read up on some books about supplements; DR. JANSON'S NEW VITAMIN REVOLUTION & CONQUERING AUTISM Reclaiming Your Child Through Natural Therapies by Stephen B.Edelson, M.D.
Edelson believes strongly that the main culprit that causes autism is toxins in the body system. And he believes STRONGLY that autism is reversible, and it's even easier in younger children. You must be thinking how can those toxins end up in these little bodies? Well, we live in this world full of toxins, detergent, heavy metals; lead, mercury, copper, etc. And what makes matter worst is we live in Jurong (industrial area). I have been always thinking that the water here is dirty, and now it turns out that this fact might be true. When a pregnant lady drinks from this contaminated water, the chance of her having baby with problem, like autism, down syndrom, etc is bigger. Now i am thinking we should get a good water filter..... eventough PUB always say that it's not necessary, but better be safe than sorry.

Edelson mentioned about the abnormality of liver in autistic individual, that causes them not being able to do natural detoxification process, which add up to the situation, the toxins are all build up inside that little body and causes a lot of abnormal bodily functions, leaky gut, blood supply to the brain is not enough, can't absorb enough nutrients from foods, low immune system, and the list can go longer as our body is just like a machine which needs all the organs to be working properly to produce a healthy individual.

In his book, he mentioned about some treatments to autism; detoxification, chelation therapy, natural supplements (vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, enzymes & amino acids), & early intervention program (behavioral modification, ST, OT, Loovas therapy, ABA, etc). I believe all of these works together in order to see some improvements. Currently Darren is on chelation, natural supplements & early intervention program. But we have not done detoxification, Edelson suggested using sauna to achieve the wanted result, 30 mins per day, everyday. So, after papa get his membership card done at arena country club, we will be having the sessions there everyday. I hope he will be able to improve......

Looking at his condition, cold & cough very often. I decided to up his intake of vitamin C, I was giving him 750 mg/day, but now I am giving 2000mg/day. I started it yesterday, and his cold is gone by today, but he is still coughing ocassionally. I think, he just need more vitamin C to help his weak immune system. And to my surprise, vitamin C helps with his speech too, he is babbling even more today. Making a lot of noise at home, at school & in the bus. People turn and look at him in the bus because of his funny speech, but I don't really care, as I am happy to hear him babbling away. haha.

Oh...My...Sweet Lord

Our new maid failed her english test 3 times in a row, so she has to go back to indonesia (Batam) to prepare for some more tests when she comes back. I hope she will be able to pass, if not we have to wait for another 3 weeks to get another new maid. No doubt I am tired, my whole body is aching & I can't even do my work on the skin designs for SL project with all the house work & the 2 devils.

Darren has grow closer to me, because I have been taking care of him for almost 3 weeks. But nowadays he always asks me to carry him, and I am losing weight now, so you know what i mean, he is heavy now & I don't have the strength to carry him for long period. He will get angry whenever i refused to hold him in my arms. He will pull my hands, push me from behind & whine. This is driving me nuts, I can't even enjoy my fav TV show.......

He is down with flu & cough again, it has been a week. Maybe because of the weather. This time round Bio 5 (homeopathy medicine) doesn't seem to work on his predicament. So, I decided to give him those medicine from GP, which, thank God, he is ok with after taking. I guess it's because he is taking supplements everyday, so his body is changing from the last time when he took those medicines & went berserk.

The line on the front part of his head is beginning to fade, which Kyoko & me feel happy about. Once the line goes away, he will be all right.....that's our goal at this moment.....at least....
He has been sleeping well despite his blocked nose. This is important, as I will be worn out if he tortures me during the day and refuse to sleep at night. I am fortune, because that's not the case. He makes a lot of new noises also. something like, pa pa pa, ihing ihing ihing, aja aja aja, & I don't know if I am crazy for him to speak out or it's the truth, he can call me Mama now.

He still doesn't know what does he supposed to do with a straw. So, I am still trying very hard to get the idea into his head. He knows how to do the sucking motion, but he doesn't know what is that straw supposed to be doing on his mouth, he will just bite on it till it breaks apart.

Tomorrow is another hard day......... Good luck to me......

Tired but Happy

That's my feeling, taking care of the house & the kids all by myself. I can't deny that papa & mum-in-law have helped a lot also. But most of the time I am left by myself to fend off the 2 lil devils. Darren has a bad habit of crying for no reason, starting from 6 PM onwards everyday, it has been 3 days. Today I found a way to deal with him. I continued doing all the houseworks, I even took some time to bathe.And I keep my mouth totally shut, I don't even talk to Derrick, I am only using sign language. haha. And to my sweet surprise, he is quiet & play by himself till 8.30 PM, and even when I bring him to the room, and I watch TV, he is okay with it. He fell asleep at 10 PM like usual. Yeah! I have learnt something new about Darren today. Maybe the moment he heard my voice, he just want to get all the attention that he deserves, that's why he cries for no reason. *phew*. It's a big headache dealing with one crying kid, but in my case it's two of them, whenever Darren cried, Derrick will imitate him also. Because he also want to steal the light.........

We went to PCS JW today, took bus there at 10 AM, and we reached there around 10.30AM, so Darren had 15 mins at the playground, and his pebbles eating habit has resurfaced. So, I must really look at him all the time while he was at the playground, or else he will get stomach upset again for eating non-food objects. But Kyoko told me that in the process of healing with craniosacral, all the bad habits will resurfaced because after the treatment is completed, they will be gone forever & ever. Which I really hope so......

Happy Chinese New Year

It's the Lunar New Year again! Like usual, eve, 1st day & 2nd day of the lunar new year, we will be at my mother-in-law's house. But this year is a bit different, as we don't have a maid to help us with Darren. Our house is very different from other people houses, since we found out that Darren is autistic, all the fans are mounted on the wall, all decorative item which are breakable are being kept away, and the main gate is always close. At my in laws house, it's not like that. So, I am having a hard time getting him to sit down to play with his toys or watch TV. As, he has many items that he can't find at home to play with........

My father-in-law is very worried about Darren, but he said 2 sentences that hurt my heart a bit, but I can forgive him, as I know he didn't mean it. He said to Darren, "Stupid! can't even take ang bao yourself." and "Stupid! ppl give you eat chicken, you don't even want to take it yourself."
But these 2 sentences will not deter my hope & determination, as I know, one day Darren will be a better person, and he will love me as much as I love him.

All his activities has stopped due to CNY, it will all resume again on Monday. And it will be the start of another new day for us. Darren! Gambate! You will make it :-)

Maid has quit

Our maid has quit yesterday. Will be a bit hard on me, but this is my responsibility to look after the children, so I can't complain. Derrick & Darren are taking a nap now, so I can have my very own time for a while but Darren will wake up in a while maybe around one hour, so have to make use of all the 1 hr I have, haha.

Darren is showing hyperactivity after taking the new homeopathic medicine from Dr. Girija, but I think this is very normal, as I have read on Vanessa's website, it mentioned about talking non-stop after taking a whole load of homeopathic medicine. Just hope it will turn out better, and will help with his speech.

Tomorrow has to go to maid agency to take another maid, as we will be very busy without one. I can't go out with my friends anymore, haha. But that's secondary. I think I will just look at transfer maid instead, because we need it to be fast.

Darren is babbling more

Darren is babbling more new words now, e.q. pa pa pa, da da da, ehing ehing ehing, etc. His eye contact is better now, and he will smile happily if he sees someone smile. I am happy with this progress. I think the combination of early intervention, homeopathy, bio medical, cranio, OT, ST & music therapy have helped him a lot.

We went to many places today. 10.45 am to 12.15 pm at PCS JW, 3.15 pm to3.45 pm at Kyoko's & 7 pm to homeopathy clinic. But because it was raining, so i went to the clinic myself to top up his medicine supply. He was given 3 types of medicine, to strengthen his immune system, so that he will not get cold & cough so easily &to help with his speech development.

At Kyoko's, he still cried, but he cried less as he only grunt & kicked his two legs now. No more screaming & big struggle.His head feels so much softer today, & the bump on his had above his forehead is not that big anymore. According to Kyoko, this is the place where understanding & feelings will develop. That's why we can see big difference in his response & behaviour.

Went to Bali for 3 days vacation, as I need a break. It's a paradise. Definitely will go back there when Darren is having his holiday, maybe in June.

Nod..nod..nod

We went to Kyoko's on Tueday. He was quite happy when he went inside, ran around the room, banged on every doors, as we had to wait for Kyoko to finished with her earlier session. The moment he saw Kyoko, he started whining. haha. So, in we go into the therapy room, he cried & screamed when we put him on the massage bed, I told Kyoko about the condition of his head, not as soft as the 1st 2 sessions. So she put in more effort this time, as I can see Darren gone quiet for 10 secs & staring into space for a while. I think he can feel something on his head, something comfortable. I am happy to see this reaction for the 1st time during his CST sessions so far.

Nowadays he always nod his head & mumbling a lot of new sounds. And he will feel the vibration of his vocal cord by putting his finger on his throat everytime he talk or scream. I think this is good sign, showing that he is aware that he has to talk somehow. I hope this this not another false hope. I am really concern about his speech.

Went to PCS JW this morning, the teacher reported that his eye contact is very good now, and everytime his eyes meet someone's eyes, he will give a big grin/smile. This is also good sign, he has realised that he has to socialised. His level of understanding is at higher stage now, he will know how to see our face expressions, when u are angry he will turn & walk away. If you smile at him, he will give an even bigger smile, haha.

Maid is going after CNY. Have to get a new maid. Hope that we will get a good one this time. As, Darren & Derrick are still so young. When they are bigger, I don't think I wanna get a maid anymore. Really a headache & still need to tolerate a stranger living in our household. Papa's salary is still not in yet, and today is 24 Jan already. All the bills are unpaid, CNY is coming & Darren needs his supplements & therapies. MOE is really playing a trick on us. Think this CNY won't be that easy without money. Money can't buy everything, but without money a lot of things can't be done.

It has been many weeks

It has been many weeks since I last wrote down my thoughts in here. Because I really have nothing to write. Darren is responding well to homeopathy medicine, brought him down on 4th January & he was given some medicines which looks like sweets, small & delicate. He took that till now, and his flu & cough has never attack him since. I am grateful for this, as he has gain some weights also. I have not bring him to the scale yet, but I can see it from his big big tummy, haha. Some of his clothes are very tight also. He has to wear the clothes given by Maya, as they are bigger. I am really glad :-)

Cranio seemed to help him for the 1st 2 weeks that we went for the treatment, but nowdays his head is still feels very tight. Was at Sanjay's place today for OT and he was kind of cranky, crying over slightest thing, can't be push to do things that he doesn't like. It was not like that few weeks back, I think I mentioned it in the earlier post about how Sanjay think that he is a different Darren. Sanjay told me that he actually recommended a lot of kids to Kyoko after he saw what kind of achievement that Darren has after 2 Cranios at Kyoko, but I will tell Kyoko about this fact on Tuesday when we are seeing her again. Maybe it's also because Darren dislikes the sessions there, and he will cry for the whole 30 mins session, that's why Kyoko can't really concentrate, thus the result is not so good.

We took a taxi from Sanjay's place back home just now. And the uncle casually asked me if i am going back home and what did I do at Daisy Avenue. So I told him we are there for therapy because Darren is autistic. And the uncle told me that he is also a dad of an autistic boy who is 18 years old. I think fate brought us together. He shared his life story with me, he told me that he feels that money can't buy anything, as long his boy is healthy & normal, he will feels happy eventough he is poor, but can give food to his children. I am so touched when I heard this. He is right, as parents we just want our kids to be healthy above anything else. We can even trade our souls for that. He told me that his son is a real problem, very autistic, and he has nowhere to go now as special schools stops at 17 years old. So, everyday he is coop up at home. His wife is not working because has to look after their son, and he told me another thing that I feel reall sorry for him. He told me that sometimes, he is afraid that his wife will think that enough is enough and will leave the family. He said without his wife, he doesn't know how to cope with his son condition as he has to go out & work. And he told me that when his son is young, they ever admitted him to IMH for few months as he has the habit of beating himself till his face is swollen. I feel really sorry for them, because eventough Darren is autistic, but he is not a very serious & gone case, with therapies, intervention programs & supplements he has shown very great improvement this 1 year. I feel grateful, really.... So, never stops counting your blessings instead of complaining.......

I am learning how to do cranio on Darren from the guide book that Sanjay lent to me. I am not that great yet but I hope I will improve with constant practise, so we can save on some money going to Kyoko's after his 10 sessions are over. Last week he was sick, so I did cranio on him, and I ended up with flu, cough & uneasiness in my head. According to Sanjay, it's because Darren's sickness has all moved to my body instead, which I believe is true, because after the cranio sessions I did on him, he was okay. His flu & cough subsided almost immediately.

It's new year & a new school term

Darren has started his intervention program again after the 1 month holiday. He seemed to remember the PECS schedule on the wall, because the 1st thing he did when he stepped into the class was to play with those. He got a bit disoriented, hard to follow instructions, as the holiday is a month, and he needs to tune his mind again to go back to storing information.
Hope he will be ok in no time. But the good thing is, he didn't cry during the class. Think he is more composed & calm nowadays.

I think OT @ Sanjay's & Cranio @ Kyoko's will also start this week hopefully. This SUnday will be ST @ Suan Lin's again. Hopefully she doesn't cancelled lesson again :-)

Darren was sick for the whole month of December, down with flu & cough. Come & go, whole month long. Like I said b4, December is not a good month for the boys. Rainy month. He was ok for a while after eating homeopathy medicine, but then he is sick again now, flu & cough again. Got to bring him down to the homeopathy clinic again tomorrow.